Archives For Marriage

In my last blog “Gardening and Marriage”, I discussed how blossom end rot is a term that is not only used for gardening but can also be applied to many marriages. The main thrust in that blog was centered on the mistakes I unknowingly made as I planted my tomato plants, which, in the end, led to a slow death for many of the first fruits for most of those plants. Unfortunately, there are many marriages that are similar to this illustration. The good news is that there is hope for most, if not, all marriages that are struggling.

As a counselor I feel that putting priorities in place is the biggest thing that allows marriages to thrive. One of the main reasons a marriage fails is because people forget to make their spouses their number one priority. Similar to my illustration, one of my top priorities should have been putting lime in the ground which I forgot. This led to missing a vital step in the planting stage. Since there was no lime for the plants, it led to the decay of many of my first tomatoes. Likewise, if our priority is to just be married and not give it our all, this causes us to miss out on the vital things our marriages need.

God states in , “When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken.” This verse declares that we are to make every effort to ensure our spouses are our number one priority. I can’t help but wonder how different marriages would be if we took this verse of scripture to heart. Maybe for you it is cutting back on your workload to spend more time with your spouse. Maybe it is reevaluating how much time you spend with friends so you can spend more time with your spouse, or maybe it is time for you to put more of God’s word in your marriage. Whatever the case may be for you and your spouse, take some time out of your busy day today and sit down with each other and ask yourselves, “Do we have our priorities straight in our marriage?”

For more information on some of the skills sets just mentioned please go to Focus on the Family or look me up on my twitter account at @WoodReid.

Reid Wood

Reid Wood

Licensed Professional Counselor View More Posts »
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“When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken. (ESV)

Gardening & Marriage

April 1, 2013

Today on my way to work I started thinking about what I was going to plant in my garden this spring. One of my favorite things to plant is tomato plants. Last year I planted 42 tomato plants and was so excited about the fruit that it was going to produce. As the season progressed the tomato plants appeared so full of life and had so many green tomatoes on them. However, one day towards the end of spring I went out to my garden to find that many of the green tomatoes were developing black spots at the bottom of the fruit. Those once nice green tomatoes had developed what is call blossom end rot. As a result I lost nearly all of my first tomatoes. I was puzzled as to why this had happened but then I remembered that I had missed an important step in cultivating the soil. I had forgotten to add lime to the soil as I was preparing it for the planting season. Missing this one simple step led to a beautiful plant on the outside and a starving plant on the inside.

This is much like what happens to marriages over time. In the zeal of being married we sometimes forget the key parts that give our marriages the nourishment they need. Most of the married couples I have seen in counseling come in looking like the above illustration. It is a slow process that leads to a point of producing what I will call “bloom end rot” in the life of a marriage. There is good news though! There are steps that each and every couple can take to end the “bloom end rot” in their marriages such as reevaluating priorities, learning how to communicate better, learning how to put fun and intimacy back in a marriage, etc. My hope is to have a deeper discussion in my next few blogs regarding how to add these vital steps back into a marriage.

For more information on some of the skills sets just mentioned please go to Focus on the Family or look me up on my twitter account at @WoodReid.

Reid Wood

Reid Wood

Licensed Professional Counselor View More Posts »
More about Reid »