As an Army Family Life Chaplain who is retiring and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), I understand the emotional, mental, and spiritual challenges associated with military service. My Battalion Command Sergeant Major (CSM) with the 101st Airborne Division told me before deployment to Iraq that he had observed strong marriages get weak and weak marriages end in divorce over his thirty years of service. I was newly married at that time and about to serve jointly with both the Navy and the Army. While deployed, I cared for Warriors who were getting word from back home that their relationships were ending. A very real psychological battle was waging on relationships in the theatre of operations that was rooted back in the United States. We were experiencing inner psychological warfare while the enemy was launching their indirect weapons at us. It was there, near where the beginning of civilization began, that I understood that the "Weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10.4 NIV).
As a new Chaplain I too was experiencing some of the same challenges as those with whom I served.
I grew up in church. I came from a family of Christians, but I was not immune from the battle that was waging. I was in the middle of it, but we were in it together. I thought about CSM's words. My own Battalion Commander at the time had just remarried and had twin children back at Fort Campbell, KY. He was struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from his previous deployment with the Infantry. He loved being with his Soldiers in combat but had a tough time making family life work. I provided suicide prevention briefings weekly in addition to pastoral care counseling. I learned that not only did the Soldiers in my care experience these same challenges, but so did the Navy. We had different acronyms we used as well as different weapons systems but the same kinds of relationship problems. Nobody, regardless of rank, sex, religious affiliation, or age was immune from the relational challenges they brought with them to a dangerous place. We had care packages from churches and organizations back home to fill our stomachs and make us feel less homesick, but we needed something deeper to heal our wounds. I found out that there was such a thing as talk therapy. I found that I could be open to professionals that were expertly trained to talk about unique and hurtful challenges. When I experienced physical, emotional, and family strain during COVID while serving in Germany, I reached out to a Senior Chaplain who had served in my Family Life role, and he cared for me in the same way I cared for others. He put his faith, therapeutic interventions, and genuine care to work for me over coffee, and I was ready to help others after a month of processing.
As a combat Veteran and a Therapist, I have experienced the relational challenges that are a product of military service.
As a professionally licensed therapist, I have learned that the military community can find healing if they are willing to humble themselves to receive it. The military community is more likely to do so with someone who can identify with their unique challenges. Over the past 4 years at Fort Jackson, I have been able to enable the relationships of Cadre and Drill Sergeants as they train "America's Finest." They learned to face relational challenges due to their family and work life stressors. They learned to tell their story and have a Therapist and Chaplain identify with them. They learned that they were not alone in their challenges and that they could leverage support from the family, church, and community. They learned to respect and value the things in life that were enduring and how to limit the less important distractions that were detracted from all that are precious and holy.
As I approach retirement, I am grateful to have discovered the Christian Counseling Center on Lady Street in downtown Columbia, SC.
I realize from experience that the military heavily depends upon the community. It is a reciprocal relationship. There is an increasing need for mental health needs, and our offices both on and off post are available to help find healing. The Christian Counseling Center has a positive reputation with the military community. It is my hope and desire to work with like-minded Christian professional to continue care to the military community as we celebrate and honor Veterans and their families. We experience the freedom that we enjoy because Veterans past and present stood in the gap for us. I challenge the Military, Veterans, and their families to allow professional counselors of faith to stand in the gap for you. We are a strong community because we look out for each other. You do not have to fight your battles alone. Our allies in the Republic of Korea (ROK) Army had an important phrase they shared with me while serving there, "Gachi Gapsida" meaning "We go together!" You are not in this alone, "We go together!"