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Topic: Counselor's Corner    
 
Getting a Right Start  

March 9, 2010
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

At the Christian Counseling Center, we work with couples who are attempting to address problems in their marriage relationship. The help they seek ranges from trying to resolve a few rough spots in a fairly good marriage to trying to revive a marriage on the brink of divorce. I applaud these couples for their willingness to work at saving their marriages and not becoming a part of the statistic of 50 % of first time marriages that end in divorce (by the way, 70 % of second marriages end in divorce). A common thread in most troubled marriages is how inadequately prepared the couple was to marry in the first place.

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #22 in a Series)  

November 16, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

What comes to mind when you hear the term “mission field”? Do you think of some desert in Africa or some jungle in South America? Or do you think of some ghetto neighborhood in a large city of this country? The term “mission field” has also been used to describe your city, your neighborhood, the people you work with, maybe even your family. I would like to suggest that addicts as a group could be considered a mission field. The addict who has worked recovery so appreciates the gift he has been given that he wants to help other addicts find the same freedom. This is one of the themes of Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #21 in a Series)  

November 9, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

It is difficult to change an old behavior or thought process if you do not actively replace it with a new one. Addicts are acutely aware of this. Whether a chemical addiction (alcohol or drugs) or a behavioral addiction (sex or work), it is difficult to achieve sobriety unless the addict replaces it with a new way of living life. This is the goal of Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. In my last article, we looked at what it means to improve conscious contact with God and how the addict uses prayer and meditation as the means. Let us now look at the substance of the addict’s prayer.

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #20 in a Series)  

November 2, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

As we continue our look at the last three of the 12-steps, a section referred to as the maintenance steps, we come to a step that once again refocuses the addict on his relationship with God. It seems only to make sense. The addict began his journey of recovery by admitting that it was only God who had the power to help him stop his addiction and achieve sobriety (step 2). Then it was God who could remove the character defects that led the addict into his addiction to begin with and it was those same character defects that would lead him to relapse (steps 6&7). Now the addict realizes that it is only through maintaining a consistent relationship with God that he will be able to remain sober for life. Step 11 puts it this way: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #19 in a Series)  

October 26, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

“I would be glad to examine myself except I am afraid of what I might find.” Many of us have this sentiment. Self-examination can be disconcerting at best and down right frightening at worst. The addict in recovery has a different view though. He knows that self-examination is crucial for maintaining sobriety. Step 10 of the 12-Steps puts it this way: “We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #18 in a Series)  

October 5, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

For the person who is working the twelve steps to recover from an addiction, it can be helpful to think of the steps as being divided into three main areas. The first three steps are called the “sobriety steps.” In these steps the addict admits that he is powerless over his addiction and that it has gotten to the point that it is creating serious negative consequences in his life. Often, his life is out of control. He then recognizes that God is not powerless over his addiction. Based upon that conviction, he makes a choice to surrender his will and his life over to God. As he encounters difficulties in life, the things that all of us are powerless over, he surrenders them to God as well instead of using his addiction to cope.

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #17 in a Series)  

September 28, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

We have been working toward the making of amends. Amends are important for the addict for two reasons. First, amends focus the addict on self-responsibility. In his addiction, he was self-centered whereas in amends he becomes other-centered. Secondly, amends provides the opportunity for reconciliation of the relationships that have been damaged by the addiction. Previous to this step, the addict in recovery has become willing to make the amends and has made a list of those to whom amends need to be made. Now is the time for making the amends.

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #16 in a Series)  

September 16, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother and then come offer your gift.” (Mathew 5:23, 24). This passage is the Biblical basis for Step 8 of the 12-Steps. Step 8 says: “We made a list of all persons we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” To be truly reconciled with God, one must be reconciled with his brother, whenever possible (Rom. 12:9).

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #15 in a Series)  

September 7, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

As the addict continues his journey of recovery, he reaches what can be very difficult territory. He has just completed making a “fearless and searching moral inventory”. This was followed by admitting to self, God, and others his shortcomings and asking God to remove them from him. What could be more difficult than that you may ask? In short, one word: Reconciliation.

 

 
Help for Addictions (Part #14 in a Series)  

August 24, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #13)  

August 11, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #12)  

August 3, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #11)  

July 20, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #10)  

July 13, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #9)  

July 6, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #8)  

June 29, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #7)  

June 22, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #6)  

June 15, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Help for Addictions (Addictions #5)  

June 8, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Understanding Addiction (Addictions #4)  

June 1, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Defining Addiction (Addictions #3)  

May 25, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
What is an Addiction? (Addictions #2)  

May 18, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
The Problem of Addictions (Addictions #1 )  

May 11, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
A Rough Time  

August 18, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Mystery of Contentment  

August 12, 2008
by Larry Bert Medlin, LPC
 

 

 

 
Effects of Sexual Abuse  

August 5, 2008
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
Giving up Good to Get Better  

July 31, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Sexual Abuse  

July 30, 2008
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Lost  

July 3, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Meeting Our Needs  

June 24, 2008
by Larry B. Medlin, LPC
 

 

 

 
Grief Part 4  

June 24, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Grief  

June 23, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D
 

 

 

 
Grief and Lost Part 2  

June 17, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Bobbie B. Lacky, LPC  

May 30, 2008
 

 

 

 
Surrender  

April 29, 2008
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
How Close is Close Enough?  

April 22, 2008
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Marriage Expectations  

April 15, 2008
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D
 

 

 

 
Christmas Stress  

November 27, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
The Body Communicates  

November 20, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Hindrance to Health  

November 5, 2007
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
What is Care Team and what does it do?  

October 16, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Right Start  

October 2, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Christian Meditation  

September 18, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 

 
Abandonment and Attachment  

August 28, 2007
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
 

 

.

 

 
He Calls Us to Him  

August 22, 2007
by Ulla Dahlen, Student Intern
 

 

 

 
How to comfort  

August 7, 2007
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Designed By God  

July 31, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Adult Children (Part Two)  

July 23, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
Adult Children  

July 9, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
Emotions; Dementia & Validation Therapy  

July 2, 2007
by Debbie A. Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Reaching Out To Help Others  

June 19, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
Teen Depression  

June 5, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 

 
Reconciliation  

May 29, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Forgiveness is not forgetting  

May 22, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Difficult People  

May 15, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
There is Hope, His name is Jesus  

April 17, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
God Uses suffering for good  

April 10, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 

 
Jesus is the light of the world  

March 6, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
The Best Is Yet To Come  

February 12, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
Marriage for better or for Worse  

January 29, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Summary of the Ministry  

January 23, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Children are a gift  

January 15, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey
 

 

 

 
Unburden Your Heart  

January 2, 2007
by Debbie A. Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Christmas Praise  

December 13, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
Reduce Fee  

November 28, 2006
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D
 

 

 

 

 
Thanksgiving Blessings  

November 26, 2006
 

 

 

 
The Glory of God  

November 8, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Boundaries  

August 29, 2006
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 

 
Does God Still do Miracles?  

August 22, 2006
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 

 
Pursue or Condequuences  

August 13, 2006
by Tom Barbian
 

 

 

 

 
Pray Without Fear ....  

August 7, 2006
by Bobbie B. Lackey
 

 

 

 

 
Mistaken Beliefs  

July 13, 2006
by Debbie A. Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 

 
Control  

June 14, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Haiti  

June 14, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Romance  

June 14, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
 

 

 

 
Sexual Addiction  

June 14, 2006
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.D
 

 

 

 
Dating  

June 6, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Siblings  

May 30, 2006
by Debbie Clark, MA, LPC
 

 

 

 
Conflict and the Path to Peace with Others – Part I  

May 2, 2006
by Dr. Dennis Morgan
 

 

 

 
Discussing Pain  

April 10, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Care Teams  

March 27, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Visiting Suggestions  

February 13, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Comfort  

January 31, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Taking Things for Granted  

January 24, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Reflections  

January 3, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Non-Verbal Communication with those with Alzheimers  

November 15, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Hope deferred makes the heart sick  

November 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Suffering  

November 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Enhancing Communication with persons with Dementia  

October 24, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
God Answers Prayer  

October 10, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS.
 

 

 

 
Communication and Memory Loss  

October 4, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC Counseling Associate
 

 

 

 
Depression  

September 27, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Depression  

September 27, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Love God with all you are  

September 20, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Trying Times  

September 13, 2005
by Dr. Barbian
 

 

 

 
Control Freak  

August 30, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Reconciliation  

August 25, 2005
by Dr. Barbian
 

 

 

 
Caring for Caregivers update  

August 16, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Wait  

August 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS
 

 

 

 
Taking Life As It Comes Part II  

July 25, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Taking Life as It Comes  

July 18, 2005
by By Debbie Clark, LPC
 

 

 

 
Why?  

July 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS.
 

 

 

 
Sticks and Stones  

June 7, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS
 

 

 

 
Embracing Problems as Gifts  

May 23, 2005
by Debbie Clark LPC
 

 

 

 
Anxiety Disorder  

April 25, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS,
 

 

 

 
Owning your own faults  

March 29, 2005
by Debbie Clark LPC
 

 

 

 
Hebrews 12:15  

March 14, 2005
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
 

 

“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;” (Heb. 12:15)

 

 
Unfinished Business  

February 1, 2005
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Finding Peace  

January 15, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Placing High Value on Wisdom  

December 13, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Begin your journey with God  

November 29, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Beginning Your Journey With God  

November 16, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Avoiding Truth?  

October 19, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
The Fullness of Redemption  

October 7, 2004
by Thomas Barbian, Ph.D.
 

 

 

 
Seminars  

September 21, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Ecclesiastes 11: 1,4  

September 14, 2004
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS
 

 

“Cast your bread on the surface of the waters, for you will find it after many day…He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap.” (Ecclesiastes 11: 1,4) 

 

 
Time To Do—Nothing?  

August 24, 2004
by Greg Robinson, MA, LPC
 

 

 

 
Caring for Caregivers  

July 29, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Bee Stings  

July 22, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Honor Your Father and Your Mother  

July 22, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Rest For Your Souls  

July 22, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Matthew 5:37 Part II  

July 6, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37

 

 
Matthew 5:37  

June 29, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37

 

 
Pain  

June 14, 2004
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
 

 

 

 
Caring for Caregivers  

June 8, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Active Listening  

May 24, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Caring for Caregiving Ministry  

April 1, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you (Exod. 20:12).

 

 
Boundaries: Parts 1 and 2  

March 30, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Where Is God When the Tempest Turns?  

March 23, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Boundaries  

March 20, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
 

 

 

 
Wayward Child  

March 18, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.D
 

I think a survey needs to be done asking parents to list the top 10 painful things a parent can experience.  If such a survey would be done, making the list near or at the top would be the pain of a wayward child.  This would be even more painful for the Christian parent because he/she has an eternal perspective, and a child who is an unbeliever can be the source of intense pain.  I encounter such parents and find that they struggle with several common issues. 

 

 
Here We "Grow" Again  

March 14, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, PhD
 

 

 

 
Praying for your Child  

February 17, 2004
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
 

 

 

 
God's Comfort  

February 17, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.d
 

 

 

 
Anxiety Disorders  

February 17, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.d
 

 

 

 
Stained Glass Windows  

February 12, 2004
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
 

 

 

 
Caregiver's Grant  

February 10, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPCI
 

 

 

 
Cheap Dates  

February 1, 2004
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
 

 

 

 
Caregiver's Grant, Part 2  

January 2, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Forgiveness  

December 30, 2003
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
 

 

 

 
Joy in the Rain  

October 1, 2003
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
 

 

 

 
Through the Eyes of a Child  

October 1, 2003
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
 

 

 

 
What is "Caring for Caregivers"?  

July 29, 2003
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Speaking the Truth in Love  

July 12, 2003
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
 

 

 

 
He has Risen!  

April 17, 2003
by Unknown
 

 

 

 
Love is in the Air  

February 11, 2003
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
 

 

 

 
Is the Past Important? Part II  

September 17, 2002
by Marjorie Hobbs, LPCI
 

 

 

 
Is the Past Important? Part I  

September 17, 2002
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
 

 

 

 
Shame and Guilt  

February 17, 2002
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
 

 

 

 


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