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Getting a Right Start
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March 9, 2010
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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At the Christian Counseling Center, we work with couples who are attempting to address problems in their marriage relationship. The help they seek ranges from trying to resolve a few rough spots in a fairly good marriage to trying to revive a marriage on the brink of divorce. I applaud these couples for their willingness to work at saving their marriages and not becoming a part of the statistic of 50 % of first time marriages that end in divorce (by the way, 70 % of second marriages end in divorce). A common thread in most troubled marriages is how inadequately prepared the couple was to marry in the first place.
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Help for Addictions (Part #22 in a Series)
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November 16, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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What comes to mind when you hear the term “mission field”? Do you think of some desert in Africa or some jungle in South America? Or do you think of some ghetto neighborhood in a large city of this country? The term “mission field” has also been used to describe your city, your neighborhood, the people you work with, maybe even your family. I would like to suggest that addicts as a group could be considered a mission field. The addict who has worked recovery so appreciates the gift he has been given that he wants to help other addicts find the same freedom. This is one of the themes of Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
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Help for Addictions (Part #21 in a Series)
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November 9, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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It is difficult to change an old behavior or thought process if you do not actively replace it with a new one. Addicts are acutely aware of this. Whether a chemical addiction (alcohol or drugs) or a behavioral addiction (sex or work), it is difficult to achieve sobriety unless the addict replaces it with a new way of living life. This is the goal of Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. In my last article, we looked at what it means to improve conscious contact with God and how the addict uses prayer and meditation as the means. Let us now look at the substance of the addict’s prayer.
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Help for Addictions (Part #20 in a Series)
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November 2, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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As we continue our look at the last three of the 12-steps, a section referred to as the maintenance steps, we come to a step that once again refocuses the addict on his relationship with God. It seems only to make sense. The addict began his journey of recovery by admitting that it was only God who had the power to help him stop his addiction and achieve sobriety (step 2). Then it was God who could remove the character defects that led the addict into his addiction to begin with and it was those same character defects that would lead him to relapse (steps 6&7). Now the addict realizes that it is only through maintaining a consistent relationship with God that he will be able to remain sober for life. Step 11 puts it this way: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
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Help for Addictions (Part #19 in a Series)
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October 26, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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“I would be glad to examine myself except I am afraid of what I might find.” Many of us have this sentiment. Self-examination can be disconcerting at best and down right frightening at worst. The addict in recovery has a different view though. He knows that self-examination is crucial for maintaining sobriety. Step 10 of the 12-Steps puts it this way: “We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”
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Help for Addictions (Part #18 in a Series)
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October 5, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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For the person who is working the twelve steps to recover from an addiction, it can be helpful to think of the steps as being divided into three main areas. The first three steps are called the “sobriety steps.” In these steps the addict admits that he is powerless over his addiction and that it has gotten to the point that it is creating serious negative consequences in his life. Often, his life is out of control. He then recognizes that God is not powerless over his addiction. Based upon that conviction, he makes a choice to surrender his will and his life over to God. As he encounters difficulties in life, the things that all of us are powerless over, he surrenders them to God as well instead of using his addiction to cope.
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Help for Addictions (Part #17 in a Series)
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September 28, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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We have been working toward the making of amends. Amends are important for the addict for two reasons. First, amends focus the addict on self-responsibility. In his addiction, he was self-centered whereas in amends he becomes other-centered. Secondly, amends provides the opportunity for reconciliation of the relationships that have been damaged by the addiction. Previous to this step, the addict in recovery has become willing to make the amends and has made a list of those to whom amends need to be made. Now is the time for making the amends.
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Help for Addictions (Part #16 in a Series)
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September 16, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother and then come offer your gift.” (Mathew 5:23, 24). This passage is the Biblical basis for Step 8 of the 12-Steps. Step 8 says: “We made a list of all persons we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” To be truly reconciled with God, one must be reconciled with his brother, whenever possible (Rom. 12:9).
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Help for Addictions (Part #15 in a Series)
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September 7, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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As the addict continues his journey of recovery, he reaches what can be very difficult territory. He has just completed making a “fearless and searching moral inventory”. This was followed by admitting to self, God, and others his shortcomings and asking God to remove them from him. What could be more difficult than that you may ask? In short, one word: Reconciliation.
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Help for Addictions (Part #14 in a Series)
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August 24, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #13)
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August 11, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #12)
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August 3, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #11)
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July 20, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #10)
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July 13, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #9)
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July 6, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #8)
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June 29, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #7)
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June 22, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #6)
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June 15, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Help for Addictions (Addictions #5)
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June 8, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Understanding Addiction (Addictions #4)
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June 1, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Defining Addiction (Addictions #3)
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May 25, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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What is an Addiction? (Addictions #2)
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May 18, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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The Problem of Addictions (Addictions #1 )
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May 11, 2009
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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A Rough Time
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August 18, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Mystery of Contentment
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August 12, 2008
by Larry Bert Medlin, LPC
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Effects of Sexual Abuse
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August 5, 2008
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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Giving up Good to Get Better
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July 31, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Sexual Abuse
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July 30, 2008
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Lost
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July 3, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Meeting Our Needs
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June 24, 2008
by Larry B. Medlin, LPC
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Grief Part 4
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June 24, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Grief
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June 23, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D
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Grief and Lost Part 2
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June 17, 2008
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Bobbie B. Lacky, LPC
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May 30, 2008
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Surrender
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April 29, 2008
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
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How Close is Close Enough?
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April 22, 2008
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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Marriage Expectations
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April 15, 2008
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D
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Christmas Stress
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November 27, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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The Body Communicates
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November 20, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Hindrance to Health
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November 5, 2007
by Thomas N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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What is Care Team and what does it do?
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October 16, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Right Start
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October 2, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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Christian Meditation
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September 18, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Abandonment and Attachment
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August 28, 2007
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
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He Calls Us to Him
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August 22, 2007
by Ulla Dahlen, Student Intern
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How to comfort
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August 7, 2007
by Tom N. Barbian, Ph.D.
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Designed By God
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July 31, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Adult Children (Part Two)
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July 23, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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Adult Children
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July 9, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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Emotions; Dementia & Validation Therapy
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July 2, 2007
by Debbie A. Clark, LPC
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Reaching Out To Help Others
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June 19, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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Teen Depression
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June 5, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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Reconciliation
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May 29, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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Forgiveness is not forgetting
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May 22, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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Difficult People
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May 15, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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There is Hope, His name is Jesus
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April 17, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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God Uses suffering for good
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April 10, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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Jesus is the light of the world
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March 6, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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The Best Is Yet To Come
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February 12, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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Marriage for better or for Worse
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January 29, 2007
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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Summary of the Ministry
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January 23, 2007
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Children are a gift
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January 15, 2007
by Bobbie B. Lackey
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Unburden Your Heart
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January 2, 2007
by Debbie A. Clark, LPC
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Christmas Praise
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December 13, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
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Reduce Fee
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November 28, 2006
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D
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Thanksgiving Blessings
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November 26, 2006
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The Glory of God
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November 8, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Boundaries
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August 29, 2006
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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Does God Still do Miracles?
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August 22, 2006
by Tom Barbian, Ph.D.
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Pursue or Condequuences
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August 13, 2006
by Tom Barbian
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Pray Without Fear ....
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August 7, 2006
by Bobbie B. Lackey
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Mistaken Beliefs
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July 13, 2006
by Debbie A. Clark, LPC
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Control
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June 14, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Haiti
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June 14, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Romance
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June 14, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey, LPC
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Sexual Addiction
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June 14, 2006
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.D
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Dating
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June 6, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Siblings
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May 30, 2006
by Debbie Clark, MA, LPC
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Conflict and the Path to Peace with Others – Part I
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May 2, 2006
by Dr. Dennis Morgan
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Discussing Pain
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April 10, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Care Teams
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March 27, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Visiting Suggestions
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February 13, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Comfort
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January 31, 2006
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Taking Things for Granted
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January 24, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Reflections
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January 3, 2006
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Non-Verbal Communication with those with Alzheimers
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November 15, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Hope deferred makes the heart sick
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November 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS, LPC
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Suffering
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November 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Enhancing Communication with persons with Dementia
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October 24, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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God Answers Prayer
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October 10, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS.
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Communication and Memory Loss
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October 4, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC Counseling Associate
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Depression
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September 27, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey EdS, LPC
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Depression
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September 27, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Love God with all you are
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September 20, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Trying Times
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September 13, 2005
by Dr. Barbian
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Control Freak
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August 30, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey EdS, LPC
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Reconciliation
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August 25, 2005
by Dr. Barbian
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Caring for Caregivers update
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August 16, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Wait
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August 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS
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Taking Life As It Comes Part II
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July 25, 2005
by Debbie Clark, LPC
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Taking Life as It Comes
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July 18, 2005
by By Debbie Clark, LPC
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Why?
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July 1, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS.
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Sticks and Stones
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June 7, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS
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Embracing Problems as Gifts
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May 23, 2005
by Debbie Clark LPC
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Anxiety Disorder
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April 25, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS,
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Owning your own faults
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March 29, 2005
by Debbie Clark LPC
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Hebrews 12:15
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March 14, 2005
by Bobbie B. Lackey, LPC
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“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;” (Heb. 12:15)
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Unfinished Business
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February 1, 2005
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Finding Peace
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January 15, 2005
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Placing High Value on Wisdom
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December 13, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Begin your journey with God
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November 29, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Beginning Your Journey With God
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November 16, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Avoiding Truth?
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October 19, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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The Fullness of Redemption
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October 7, 2004
by Thomas Barbian, Ph.D.
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Seminars
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September 21, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Ecclesiastes 11: 1,4
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September 14, 2004
by Bobbie Lackey, MEd, EdS
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“Cast your bread on the surface of the waters, for you will find it after many day…He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap.” (Ecclesiastes 11: 1,4)
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Time To Do—Nothing?
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August 24, 2004
by Greg Robinson, MA, LPC
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Caring for Caregivers
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July 29, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Bee Stings
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July 22, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Honor Your Father and Your Mother
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July 22, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Rest For Your Souls
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July 22, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Matthew 5:37 Part II
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July 6, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37
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Matthew 5:37
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June 29, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37
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Pain
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June 14, 2004
by Bobbie Lackey,MEd, EdS, LPC
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Caring for Caregivers
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June 8, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Active Listening
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May 24, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Caring for Caregiving Ministry
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April 1, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you (Exod. 20:12).
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Boundaries: Parts 1 and 2
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March 30, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Where Is God When the Tempest Turns?
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March 23, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Boundaries
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March 20, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPC
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Wayward Child
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March 18, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.D
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I think a survey needs to be done asking parents to list the top 10 painful things a parent can experience. If such a survey would be done, making the list near or at the top would be the pain of a wayward child. This would be even more painful for the Christian parent because he/she has an eternal perspective, and a child who is an unbeliever can be the source of intense pain. I encounter such parents and find that they struggle with several common issues.
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Here We "Grow" Again
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March 14, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, PhD
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Praying for your Child
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February 17, 2004
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
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God's Comfort
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February 17, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.d
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Anxiety Disorders
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February 17, 2004
by Dr. Tom Barbian, Ph.d
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Stained Glass Windows
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February 12, 2004
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
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Caregiver's Grant
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February 10, 2004
by Debbie Clark, M.A., LPCI
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Cheap Dates
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February 1, 2004
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
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Caregiver's Grant, Part 2
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January 2, 2004
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Forgiveness
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December 30, 2003
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
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Joy in the Rain
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October 1, 2003
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
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Through the Eyes of a Child
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October 1, 2003
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
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What is "Caring for Caregivers"?
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July 29, 2003
by Debbie Clark, LPCI
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Speaking the Truth in Love
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July 12, 2003
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
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He has Risen!
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April 17, 2003
by Unknown
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Love is in the Air
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February 11, 2003
by Bobbie Lackey, M.ed., Ed.S.
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Is the Past Important? Part II
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September 17, 2002
by Marjorie Hobbs, LPCI
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Is the Past Important? Part I
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September 17, 2002
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
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Shame and Guilt
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February 17, 2002
by Marjorie Hobbs, M.A., LPCI
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