At the Christian Counseling Center, we work with couples who are attempting to address problems in their marriage relationship. The help they seek ranges from trying to resolve a few rough spots in a fairly good marriage to trying to revive a marriage on the brink of divorce. I applaud these couples for their willingness to work at saving their marriages and not becoming a part of the statistic of 50 % of first time marriages that end in divorce (by the way, 70 % of second marriages end in divorce). A common thread in most troubled marriages is how inadequately prepared the couple was to marry in the first place.

If there remains a stigma about marriage counseling, there is an even greater stigma about pre-marriage counseling. Often the thought is that if we need counseling before we get married, then maybe we shouldn’t marry. The reality is that for many couples some basic pre-marital counseling could prevent some intense marriage counseling later on. Good pre-marital counseling ought to address the following issues:

When should a couple get pre-marital counseling? Many engaged couples wait until a wedding date has been set and much planning has occurred before considering any pre-marital counseling. It is often considered just one of the many tasks in the wedding preparation. For a couple well suited to marry, this might be fine. But, I would argue that many couples could benefit from pre-marital counseling before a date is set and in some cases prior to an engagement. Yes, I am recommending pre-engagement counseling.

As Christians, we must resist the cultural idea that romantic love is a sufficient foundation for marriage. To meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after usually occurs only in the movies. Marriage is a life-time commitment and one of the primary vehicles God uses for our sanctification. It requires careful consideration and informed understanding of God’s plan for marriage.

In order to help couples with preparation for marriage, the Christian Counseling Center and First Presbyterian Church have developed Right Start. This unique course consists of a seminar on marriage combined with personality and relationship inventories and a meeting with a staff counselor at the Counseling Center. This Spring, the course will be offered Friday evening March 26th and Saturday October 27th. If you are considering engagement or are already engaged and planning a wedding, I would strongly encourage to take advantage of this unique opportunity. There is a fee to cover the materials. For more information, contact Eric Wenger (803-779-9062) at the church office.